Supporting a friend with their mental health
It鈥檚 normal for everyone to experience ups and downs, but sometimes you might notice that a friend seems to be having a tough time or not acting the way they usually do. You might want to provide support, but it can be easy to feel like you鈥檙e not sure about what to say or do to help them. It鈥檚 worth reaching out, though- even a small gesture can make a big difference to someone else.
Supporting a friend with their mental health
What are the signs that a friend might need support?
The talks about some of the signs that a friend might be struggling:
What are they saying? Do they seem:
- Confused or irrational
- Moody
- Unable to switch off
- Concerned about the future
- Concerned they鈥檙e a burden
- Lonely or lacking self-esteem
- Concerned they鈥檙e trapped or in pain
What are they doing? Are they:
- Experiencing mood swings
- Becoming withdrawn
- Changing their online behaviour
- Losing interest in what they used to love
- Unable to concentrate
- Less interested in their appearance and personal hygiene
- Behaving recklessly
- Changing their sleep patterns
What鈥檚 going on in their life? Are they experiencing:
- Relationship issues
- Major health issues
- Work pressure or constant stress
- Financial difficulty
- Loss of someone or something they care about
Some other signs specific to university might include:
- If a friend isn鈥檛 turning on their camera in class or joining in during class when they usually would
- If they aren鈥檛 coming to class when they usually would or are withdrawing from university life
Being safe
If you have immediate concerns about your friend鈥檚 safety, call 000 and get advice- don鈥檛 wait for them to give you permission to call.
It鈥檚 also important to make sure that you鈥檙e in the right headspace yourself before providing support, and that you鈥檙e not putting yourself at risk of experiencing mental health difficulties as a result of the support you provide. If you鈥檙e not in the right place to have a conversation, try to think of someone else they know who might be able to provide the support instead.
Strategies for providing support
Getting prepared
Before you chat, make sure you鈥檙e prepared:
- Is it a good time? Is there enough time for a conversation?
- Have you thought about the best way to have the conversation- in person, over the phone, via messaging apps?
- If you鈥檙e together in person, are you in a location that鈥檚 reasonably comfortable and private?
- Are you feeling ready to genuinely listen?
Have a conversation
has a guide on the four steps to checking in on someone:
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Ask if they鈥檙e ok
- Be relaxed, friendly and concerned in your approach
- Ask open questions to help them open up.
- Some examples of things you could say might include:
鈥淗ey, I鈥檝e noticed you don鈥檛 seem to be yourself lately? Just checking that everything is ok?鈥
鈥淵ou seem a little more distracted than normal. Is there anything that is taking your focus that I can help you with?鈥
鈥淚 haven鈥檛 seen you hanging out with your friends lately? Is everything ok there?鈥
鈥淚鈥檝e noticed you haven鈥檛 had a lot to say in tutorials lately. That鈥檚 not like you. Is everything ok?鈥
-
If they don鈥檛 want to talk, that鈥檚 ok- let them know you鈥檙e still concerned and you care about them and that they鈥檙e welcome to talk when they鈥檙e ready, or ask if there鈥檚 another person they鈥檇 rather chat with.
-
Listen with an open mind
- Give them time and space to talk or think- don鈥檛 interrupt or rush them.
- Don鈥檛 judge what they say- acknowledge that things seem tough for them.
- Encourage them to explain: for instance, 鈥淗ow are you feeling about that?鈥, or 鈥淗ow long have you felt like that?鈥
-
Encourage action
- Ask: 鈥淲hat have you done in the past to manage similar situations?鈥
- Ask: 鈥淗ow would you like me to support you?"
- Ask: 鈥淲hat鈥檚 something you can do for yourself right now? Something that鈥檚 enjoyable or relaxing?鈥
- If they鈥檝e been feeling really down for more than two weeks, encourage them to see a health professional. You could say, "It might be useful to link in with someone who can support you. I'm happy to assist you to find the right person to talk to.鈥
- You could suggest that they book in with the WSU Counselling Service, encourage them to book an appointment with their GP, or encourage them to call a service like Lifeline- see the University Support and Community Support sections below for resources you could help them access.
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Check in
- Put a reminder in your diary to check back in with them in a few weeks, or sooner if they鈥檙e really struggling.
- Ask how they鈥檙e going and if they鈥檝e found a better way to manage the situation. If they haven鈥檛 done anything, don鈥檛 judge them.
- Stay in touch and be there for them. Genuine care and concern can make a real difference.
University Support
If you or someone you know is having difficulties or would like some support, the WSU Counselling Service, Disability Service, or Student Welfare Service may be able to help.
Students can access free, short term, confidential counselling services. Face to face, Zoom or phone appointments can be made by telephoning 1300 668 370. Our office hours are Monday to Friday 9:00am - 4:30pm. Alternatively, or email counselling@westernsydney.edu.au
The Disability Service is free to access with Disability Advisors assisting students to meet their full potential. If you have a diagnosed physical, psychological or medical condition that impacts on your studies, you may be eligible for an Academic Reasonable Adjustment Plan (ARAP), developed by the Disability Service. Contact the Disability Service on 1300 668 370, email disability@westernsydney.edu.au or make contact via .
- WSU Welfare Service
For assistance regarding academic, personal and financial hardship, international support or accommodation, call 1300 668 370 or make contact via
- Multifaith Chaplaincy
Multifaith Chaplaincy can provide confidential conversation and care and support for stress management and anxiety with links to religious groups and faith communities. For more information, please call Daniel Jantos on 0402 771 543 or email d.jantos@westernsydney.edu.au.
- WesternLife
WesternLife - Join thousands of students at Your Virtual Community to share experiences, learn new things, connect with new friends, and engage with events or discussions that interest you.
- Disruption to Studies
Consider applying for Disruption to Studies and Requests for Extension if you feel as though your studies have been significantly impacted.
- Deferred Exams
Deferred Exam 鈥 You can apply for a Deferred Exam no later than 5:00pm on the second working day after your scheduled exam if you are unable to attend a final exam due to serious illness, misadventure or other exceptional circumstances beyond your control. Submit a and attach supporting documents online for application.
- Withdrawal Without Academic Penalty
Withdrawal Without Academic Penalty is an option available after the Census Date of the teaching term provided that you meet eligibility.
- Leave of Absence
A Leave of Absence is a temporary break from studying. Once you have completed one or more subjects in your enrolled program, you can apply for a Leave of Absence. A Leave of Absence can be taken as either six or twelve months. The maximum amount of leave you can take during your program is twelve months. Please note, you must submit your application before the relevant census date
If you are considering any of these options, please reach out to the counselling service for support and guidance. If you are an international student, please make sure you seek advice particularly if you are considering withdrawing without penalty or taking a leave of absence as these may have implications for your visa conditions.
Community Support
Lifeline (24 hours crisis counselling) - 13 11 14
Lifeline SMS Counselling Service - Between 6pm and midnight you can text 0477 13 11 14 and somebody will text you back! You can find more information .
Available 24/7 to everyone in NSW on 1800 011 511. Provides professional help and advice and referrals to local mental health services.
- Reach Out 鈥 Helping someone else
This website () provides resources, information and factsheets for wellbeing and mental health as well as caring for others.
A moderated, online peer support forum space for sharing tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition and seeking help for your own wellbeing.
Seek help, make connections, and share your experience. The SANE Forums are an online community for people affected by mental illness. It鈥檚 a safe, stigma-free, supportive, and anonymous peer support community, moderated 24/7 by metal health professionals.
Head space provides information and advice on how to help a friend who is experiencing difficult times.
- RUOK? 鈥 How to Support someone and ask R U OK?
On the website you can find practical tips and advice on the signs someone might be struggling, how to have a conversation with them and connect them to support.
- Beyond Blue
is a 24/7 service that provides information and support to everyone. You can call them on 1300 22 4636 or chat online.
- QLife
LGBTI peer support and referral. Contact them on 1800 184 527 (6pm-10pm daily) or you can chat online (online chat 3pm-12am daily)
- Mensline Australia
is a 24/7 counselling service for men. You can contact them on 1300 78 99 78
Websites
The Real Talk framework is a conversational approach to supporting mental health and wellbeing in universities. This Real Talk Fact Sheet helps you what to notice, how to inquire and how to provide support when you are concerned about the mental health of someone you know.
Take a look at this Real Talk Report which provides information for supporting someone you know having difficulty with their mental health.
Podcasts
How to Support Your Friend鈥檚 Mental Health
This episode talks about mental health and how to support your friends. The Optimal Living Daily podcast is hosted by clinical psychologist Sara Stanizai. Listen on .
Lets Talk About鈥upporting Others
This episode is one of the Let鈥檚 Talk About Mental Health podcast. This episode talks about healthy ways to provide support for others, even if you yourself have mental health challenges. Listen on or .
Videos
Apps
: A free, evidence-based mindfulness and meditation app. Mindfulness meditation has been shown to help manage stress, resilience, anxiety, depression and improve general health and wellbeing.
Still struggling?
If you are still struggling, reach out to the WSU counselling team for support and advice. If you prefer to seek support from a service outside of the university, it may be helpful to speak to your General Practitioner regarding a and referral to a psychologist, or you can speak to a counsellor or other health professional.